purroxies:

wait……….. fafther where did u get this third hand 

helo dave i have that many hands 
i stole this one frm queen mary elizabeth the day of her 19th bday. took it rite out of the socket during a wicked high five. im bannned from england 4evr 
im roxy

hands dont have sockets ive caught you telling untruths on the web
and here id think anyone who had the sense to be in the same room as the queen would know better than to tell a lie to a good man
what did i ever do to you to deserve this kind of deception honestly im offended 
as the queen herself once said “dont fuckin lie on the internet theyll doxx your ass into next year” or something along those lines probably and you know shes right the queen is never wrong its the law 
not just of her kingdom or whatever either its the cosmic law time and space flex into paradoxes to cater to the wills of the queen 
is she an alien in disguise? sources say [redacted]
look at me making new years jokes i still cant believe its already 1997
whats next? flying cars? tripping backwards up an escalator for eternity in the middle of the mall where everyone is laughing at you? y 2 fucking k?
its nice to meet you roxy hows your nightmorning

hello i am here 2 save u

thank fucking god
puts a hand on your shoulder son today we learn a valuable lesson about being a good samaritan and puts another hand on your shoulder helping others in their times of need for example those nights at 0230 when the house is so quiet that it sits on your neck like deadweight puts another hand on your shoulder we have to reach out to the good civilians in times like this and drag them from perdition with open willing arms and kind hearts and you done a good thing today kid puts another hand on your sh

hi im dave and i dont really have that many hands
sup